5 Times Jack hugged a pillow to help him sleep
by soozeh
Summary: JackDaniel Slash.


**Title:** 5 Times Jack hugged a pillow to help him sleep.  
**Fandom:** Stargate SG1  
**Characters:** Jack/Daniel  
**Word Count:** 896  
**Rating:** PG  
**Notes:** Jack/Daniel Slash.

**5 Times Jack hugged a pillow to help him sleep.**

i.

The night after he left Abydos. The night after he left Daniel, Jack found himself hugging his pillow. He'd never tell anyone that he had, not even Daniel, if they ever saw each other again. He was so afraid for him; being stuck on another planet with threats such as the Goa'uld. If someone had told him that there was a machine such as the Stargate, capable of gate travel to other planets, he would have laughed in their face and carted them off to the men in white coats, but he'd seen it all with his own eyes. Anything was possible. When he finally tried to sleep after that first mission he found himself longing for Daniel. His touch. His smell. His smile. And Jack found himself fiercely holding onto a pillow, wishing it were him.

ii.

The night after Daniel ascended, Jack drove home in a daze. He opened the front door and headed straight for the bed. He didn't switch any lights on; he just pulled the duvet off their bed back and sunk into the sheets. The bed seemed so empty and cold. He scrunched himself up into a ball and shook silently. He'd lost Daniel again. He moved his head over to Daniel's pillow; it smelt of him and he gently moved it towards his chest. The scent was reassuring to Jack; it made him feel as if there was a chance that Daniel might 'come' home, so to speak. He fell asleep pretty quickly and slept for a few hours, hugging the pillow for means of 'replacement' and for a split second when he woke up, he thought that it was Daniel his arm was draped across.

iii.

He'd been let out of the infirmary having promised that he'd go straight home and sleep. But there's only so much sleeping that one person can do. Sleeping often-involved dreams or rather, nightmares and Jack had had enough nightmares to last a lifetime. He was plagued with flashbacks to Baal's torture and those few stolen hours with Daniel, well Ascended Daniel. Jack was sure it wasn't really him, just a hallucination. Jack had missed Daniel so much over those many months and seeing him again allowed him to take Daniel in, to remember every curve of his face, to look into those blue eyes. Jack curled himself up, knees brought to his chest and hugged Daniel's pillow furiously against his chest. He needed that closeness and if he screwed his eyes tight enough he could almost feel Daniel.

iv.

The night after Janet died Jack sought out Daniel. He found him hiding in his office, sitting on the floor behind his desk. Jack eased himself down beside Daniel and laid a hand on his thigh. He gently rubbed the muscle and Daniel leant against him.

'Sorry.' Jack whispered.

'Me too.'

Jack stood and helped Daniel up. They walked in silence to the elevator and neither had spoken by the time they reached Jack's truck.

'You're coming home with me.' Jack told Daniel as he opened the door for him.

Daniel didn't answer; he just got into the truck and put his belt on.

---

'I'm sorry Jack but I think I'd rather sleep alone tonight.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, I just wanna be on my own right now.'

Jack nodded. 'You know where I am if you need me… Are you taking the spare room?'

'Yeah.'

'Ok good night.' Jack said as he moved forward and gently kissed Daniel. Daniel flinched against his touch and Jack pulled back. He patted Daniel's shoulder gently. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.'

Daniel stood and walked off to the spare bedroom. Jack heard the door close and the mattress squeak as Daniel sat on it. He sighed and went to bed.

---

He pulled back the duvet and slid under the sheets. He turned on his side and faced the door. The other half of the bed in front of him and Jack brushes his hand across the empty space. He sighed and brought Daniel's pillow across the bed and to his face. He smelt the soft fabric and smiled. It smelt like Daniel.

He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing down. He could hear Daniel quietly sobbing in the room next to him and he longed to go and comfort him but he knew that Daniel wanted to be alone. He gripped the pillow tighter, wishing it were Daniel he was holding.

v.

After he'd accepted the promotion Jack had argued with Daniel. Daniel had told him that he was inconsiderate and that they should have talked about the promotion first, but both Jack and Daniel knew that they would have only argued. Daniel would have outright refused to let him go just like Jack refuses to let Daniel go to Atlantis every time he's asked.

So when Daniel is told that Jack will be going to Washington and that the decision is final, he isn't pleased. He shouts and yells and throws things and Jack just sits calmly, knowing that it's best not to get worked up.

He shouts some more, packs a few clothes into a bag and yells, 'I'm going home.'

Jack had tried to stop him but thought it best to leave him alone. Instead he retired to their bed, wrapped himself around Daniel's pillow and tried to sleep.


End file.
